In a recent episode of the podcast “We Need to Talk,” Love Island contestant Megan Barton-Hanson opened up about her shocking discovery regarding a practice known as “stealthing.” This term refers to the act of removing a condom during consensual sex without informing the other partner, and Barton-Hanson revealed that she had been a victim of this violation multiple times. Her candid discussion sheds light on a deeply troubling aspect of sexual consent, highlighting the need for increased awareness and education on the matter.
Barton-Hanson described her experiences where, on six separate occasions, a male partner had claimed that the condom had split just before removing it, resulting in unintended pregnancies that led her to have abortions. Speaking to the BBC, the 30-year-old expressed disbelief at the fact that what happened to her, and many others in similar situations, is legally categorized as rape. “I didn’t know it was a crime,” she said, reiterating the confusion that often surrounds consent in intimate situations. She thought such matters were merely a subject of conversation between partners rather than a legal or ethical violation.
Importantly, the conversation around stealthing opens a critical examination of the societal perceptions of sexual consent. Many, like Barton-Hanson, are unaware that non-consensual actions performed during sex can be classified as sexual violence. Due to the normalization of such behaviors and the stigma surrounding discussions of sexual consent, victims may feel isolated or unsure of how to report their experiences. The repercussions of stealthing can lead to severe physical and emotional consequences, exacerbated by the silence of those who have suffered such violations.
The matter has garnered significant attention, especially in light of a University College London (UCL) survey revealing that slightly over 10% of individuals between the ages of 18-25 did not consider non-consensual condom removal to be sexual assault. Andrea Simon, the executive director of End Violence Against Women and Girls, stresses the importance of understanding that if consent is given under a premise of condom use, then its removal constitutes a violation. “It’s very important that men, in particular, understand that it’s criminal behavior to intentionally remove a condom during sex without consent,” she states, drawing attention to the larger issue of entitlement over women’s bodies that often underpins such actions.
Barton-Hanson’s experience resonates deeply with fictional portrayals of similar themes, such as the critically acclaimed BBC series, “I May Destroy You,” written and starred in by Michaela Coel. The show compellingly illustrated the insidious nature of stealthing through its protagonist, Arabella, who discovers the act has occurred after reflecting on her encounter—paralleling Barton-Hanson’s real-life experience. The representation of these narratives in popular culture underscores the necessity for open discussion about sexual behavior, boundaries, and consent.
In her podcast discussion, Barton-Hanson conveyed a poignant message for anyone who may find themselves in a similar predicament. She urged those with concerns about their partners to confide in friends or trusted individuals and consider reporting the incident to authorities. “You don’t have to make it a big old deal,” she remarked, but accountability is crucial for ensuring that these offenses are reported and addressed.
In summary, the revelations by Megan Barton-Hanson about stealthing serve as a critical reminder of the complexities surrounding consent and the need for robust education and awareness to prevent such violations. The urgency to transform societal discussions about consent into actionable awareness cannot be overstated, aiming to empower individuals to understand and speak out against forms of sexual violence that are often overlooked or misunderstood.
