A Reddit user, known as “OneSoreSpine,” recently found themselves at the center of a family drama after refusing to push their extremely “obese cousin around in a wheelchair” for a day, prompting a discussion on the popular “Am I the A–hole” subreddit. The post, made on June 28, asked, “AITA for refusing to push my obese cousin around in a wheelchair for a day?” The user, who chose not to reveal their age or gender, explained that their cousin weighs nearly 600 pounds and relies on a mobility scooter due to difficulty walking without pain.
The situation arose when OneSoreSpine was asked to provide transportation for their cousin to attend an out-of-state wedding in July. The catch was that OneSoreSpine’s car, a Kia Optima, was not equipped to transport the mobility scooter, leading to the need for a wheelchair instead. However, the wedding was set to take place in a public park, posing a significant challenge as pushing a wheelchair on grass and dirt terrain was deemed nearly impossible by the Reddit user.
As a solution, OneSoreSpine attempted to explore options, including contacting a local medical equipment agency for a suitable scooter. Unfortunately, they were met with obstacles, such as the agency’s refusal to lease scooters for off-road use. Additionally, family members were unable to provide alternative transportation, and renting a vehicle capable of carrying the scooter was financially out of reach for both OneSoreSpine and their cousin.
Despite efforts to find a solution, the cousin expressed dissatisfaction with the proposed alternatives, including being transported on a flatbed trailer used for event supplies. Feeling humiliated by this idea, the cousin lashed out at OneSoreSpine, accusing them of shaming her by refusing to push the wheelchair. Despite acknowledging the support received from the cousin in the past, OneSoreSpine felt limited in their ability to fulfill this particular request.
Seeking advice from the Reddit community, OneSoreSpine questioned whether they were wrong for setting boundaries and not attempting to push the cousin in the wheelchair. In response, users overwhelmingly defended OneSoreSpine’s decision, citing safety concerns, physical limitations, and the impracticality of using a vehicle like a Kia Optima to transport someone of the cousin’s size. Some shared personal stories of assisting family members in wheelchairs and the toll it took on their bodies afterward.
Recognizing the emotional impact of the situation, a therapist specializing in eating disorders and body image weighed in, commending OneSoreSpine for their efforts to find solutions while acknowledging the cousin’s likely feelings of helplessness. Offering advice on navigating the sensitive conversation with the cousin, the therapist emphasized the importance of setting boundaries and expressing empathy while maintaining honesty about limitations.
As discussions on the subreddit unfolded, the consensus among users remained in support of OneSoreSpine’s decision, emphasizing the importance of safety and practicality. Despite the hurt feelings that persisted in the aftermath, OneSoreSpine expressed gratitude for the encouragement and feedback received, acknowledging the complexity of the situation and the need to prioritize personal well-being.
In conclusion, the Reddit user, OneSoreSpine, faced a challenging family dynamic that tested their boundaries and prompted a meaningful discussion about caregiving, limitations, and self-care. The story serves as a reminder of the importance of setting boundaries, prioritizing safety, and navigating difficult situations with empathy and honesty.
